i am in mixed feelings, i don't know how i should start this post.

reached school around 7, ncos polished our boots. went to salute to mr tan kha kee as part of the ritual before zone comp. as retarded as it might seem, due to the fact that smops (spore math olympiad for pri sch) was on. it looked as if were saluting to those little primary school kids. 178 was the number of times we saluted him. amazing eh?

went back to salt centre, to pump 18 in front of mr ong teng cheong. maybe it is time to modernize. nevertheless, we were all nervous. and as we crammed up onto the bus, many thoughts and feelings fashing through my mind. 'what will happen if we lose?' evem then i crammed as much fa knowledge into my brain as much as possible.

went to goldenmile foodcentre to have our lucnh and we had it at table 178. all the preparation and anticipation was all for this moment, after all the ncos had checked our uniform, we marched to hq.

i don't really want to elaborate on all the different sections we had. we did footdrill first, i would say it is one of the best footdrill in my life, even the navy officer agreed, who said "i gave you all full marks for everything except some, especiall 3 and 4 (me) sometimes when you turn, your hands swing around". i was excited about the score.

next was long case, which i felt we did exceedingly well, the time given was 20 minutes, but we breeze through the whole thing in less than 9 minutes. our confidence and morale was boosted.

toc was screwed.

short case *speechless*

at around 6 (see the efficiency?), we fall in at the 3rd level of sjab hq, which they call it an "auditorium", with no chairs, no aircon. aa results was announced first. "xinmin". we were stunned, i was with more confidence then after. but to my disappointment, "hwa chong" was called out next. which also means that we were second.

if a few months ago, you told me i would get 2nd in zone comp. i would be damn friggin happy, but now, after tons of trng and sacrificing...i really expected more. and that pressure really killed me a few days back before, but sijie "councelled" me, so i had not much pressure before the zone. yea so second. surprisingly, ac also got second due to the judge. to add to the anger, we later found out that the judge that judges us was different from that who judge xinmin and nanhua. i mean different ppl have different standards, so one could be more lenient, and one the other could be more strict. so the judges are.... i don't know what to say. the finals score read

nanhua- 250
hwachong- 248.5
xinmin- 248

yea there are only 3 teams, the difference is really close, with just a mere 2 points seperating top and bottom teams. we were expecting "brotherly love" (pumpings) from the ncos, but instead they gave us a pep talk. together with the teachers- ms yap and nghh. what they said really make me think of the past 6 months we had been training, all the fun and laughter, all the pain and sacrifice. then my reserve broke down, he cried. that really stun and touch me. so near yet so far, the more they said, the sadder i felt. next luky from ac also cried. then chengen, the ac reserve, its very difficult to hold on to your emotions when you see 3 other ppl crying jus around you. i drop my first tear.

as, we sang the school song, i could see the disappointment, sadness in each and everyone's eyes. i felt guilty and sorry, maybe IF i didnt move my hand during footdril, IF i slowered down my diagnosis, IF i find the carrying shit for TOC, we could have won. and the 1.5 mark difference wont matter. but all were IFS, this was no dream. we should face reality.

as what maam nghh said '不管今天发生了什么，明天太阳还是会生起，日子还是要一样的过'. we need to learn from our mistakes, our failures. this would be a reminder that we would need to put in more effort and not be complacent.

for the sec2s: stay strong, stay proud, you guys still have one more year, and i strongly believe you guys have the quality and potential to go nationals. so dont brood over the defeat, it will only hinder you performance.

as for the sec3s (which is my squad and my team): i think we did real good, we tried our best, afterall we were the most inexperienced team in the whole category. but again im friggin pissed and disappointed with * attitude, i always had faith in you, yet your attitude today really made me very disappointed and angry, this shouldnt be a time for pointing fingers, just hope you can change.

to our trainers: sorry, that we didnt win, and all our hard work....without you, we are nothing

to any and everyone: thanks for your help, be it being casualty or comming down to suport, we appreciate what you guys did =D

such an experience would be difficult to forget, but hopefully we can get over it. and train harder for next year.

"No one can remain champions for life"